Thursday, January 12, 2012

What is it to be a Mother?? And whose bloody idea was it anyway??

What is it to be a mother? This god-like creature, all powerful, all controlling, was this really such a good idea and whose bloody idea was it anyway? To give us females this unbelievably responsible role...And what if your scared of it Can't handle it? Who's going to pick up the slack?

It is too much responsibility and I'm worried I'm doing it all wrong. And what is right anyway? Exactly, who the hell is right? Who is best, who has the answer? Should we really trust ourselves with this shit? Should we really presume to have all the answers in our hearts? And how in hell do you find them in there? I'm looking, and I have been for a while now, but worry I'm missing something I'm looking so bloody hard.

I'm trying to tick all the right boxes and in doing so leaving lots with just a half tick - and who, I wonder, who is checking my boxes? It's just me again, isn't it?

At what point, will I trust myself? Validate myself? Accept myself? And, at what point, will I learn to trust my children, validate them, accept them? Who wrote this complicated bloody rule book? And why isn't love enough - of that I have great oceans full.

HELP!! I'm drowning in my fear of what others think. But no-one else gives a hoot, because they are all too busy drowning in their own self-perceived nonsense!!

And why can't breakfast cereals be a simple choice? Why are there more than 100, when all I want is one that is healthy and filling and good for us all...

Over and out

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Katie said...

Love this Hannah - think you summ up what every mum feels every hour of every day. Hope you are well. Your blogs are fab. LOL Katie x (Groves as was) x

January 12, 2012 at 6:29 PM  
Blogger Han said...

Thank you Katie....It is hard isn't it trying to be an uber mum and a human being as well?

Much love to you all

January 13, 2012 at 9:55 AM  

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